


two quarters and a heart down

by ohmcgee



Series: ohmcgee's mallverse [63]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Retail, Angst, Drunk Sex, Infidelity, M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 17:26:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14430528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmcgee/pseuds/ohmcgee
Summary: "What? Did you really think I was going to play blue-haired stepmom for the rest of my life?"





	two quarters and a heart down

**Bruce**

  
  


“Mr. Wayne. Mr. Wayne? Are you --”

Bruce woke suddenly, nearly falling off the small sofa in his office and knocking over the whisky on the floor next to it in the process. Fortunately, there had only been a few drops left in it.

“I’m sorry,” Delia, Delilah, something like that, apologized, looking away discreetly when Bruce finally sat up straight, his shirt unbuttoned and hanging open. After he managed to get it halfway buttoned again, albeit crookedly, she turned back to him. “Mr. Wayne,” she said, concern pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Did you sleep here last night?”

Bruce gave her a look, then grabbed the glass off the floor, filling it back up with scotch as she watched him.

“Right,” she said. “None of my business. I was just coming to uh, remind you of your ten o’clock appointment with --”

“Cancel it,” Bruce said, his voice like gravel, then tossed the scotch back. Hopefully that would do something for the pounding in his head.

“But sir, Mr. Hiroshuto is only --”

“I said cancel it,” Bruce repeated, turning his back to her and pouring another scotch.

“Yes, Mr. Wayne,” Dahlia said curtly, shutting the door behind her as he drained the glass and looked out of the floor to ceiling windows at the already bustling city beneath them.

_ I don’t know how you do it. Makes me wanna puke just glancing at them. _

_ Mm, have I finally found something you’re scared of? _

_ Oh, please. There’s lots of things I’m scared of. Heights. The ocean. Pelicans. _

_ Pelicans? _

_ All birds, really. _

_ I’ll remember that. _

_ Oh. And. You know. Losing you, I guess. _

_ Ah. Well, I suppose it’s a good thing that you’ll never have to face that particular fear. _

_ Promise me. _

_ I promise you, Jason. I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours, always. _

Bruce sat the scotch glass down on the bar, took a shaky breath, then dragged his hand across the top of it, flinging whiskey bottles and highball glasses across the room, most of them shattering when they hit the ground.

On the way out, he grabbed his coat.

“Call in a cleaning service,” he said to the new girl as he walked by. “I dropped some things.”

  
  
  


**Jason**

  
  
  


“Okay, I’ve got sprinkles, jelly, chocolate, and some weird apple-y thing. Come and get it,” Jason announced as he walked into the store, lifting a box of donuts over his head to dodge Harley’s jumping jacks. Tim called sprinkles from behind the counter, Dick called chocolate, and Roy --

Right. If Roy still worked there he would’ve jumped on the jelly before Jason even got the box open, but he didn’t because he almost had a real job now. Jason felt guilty for wishing he was still there, hanging off of Tim’s shoulder, popping his bubblegum, and saying something filthy about Jason’s ass, but he couldn’t help it. Being in the store just wasn’t the same without him.

“I’ll take the jelly, thanks,” Harley grinned, popping over Jay’s shoulder and sticking her finger straight through the donut before skipping off with it, dropping a blob of raspberry jelly in her wake.

“So,” Tim said, sunglasses still on his face as he leaned against the counter. Jason had told him multiple times that even he couldn’t pull that look off without looking like a douche, but of course he’d been lying every time. “You’re here.”

“I’m here.” He said and grabbed the apple thing no one else wanted, biting a chunk off of it.

“That’s weird.”

Jason narrowed his eyes at him and licked icing off his thumb. “No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Hey fearless leader,” Harley shouted to Dick in the back. “I think the toddlers need a time out!”

Jason raised his hand and flipped her off.

“I was never off the payroll,” he shrugged. “You knew that. I always had a job here.”

“Uh huh,” Tim said, picking up the donut with the sprinkles and flicking them off, one by one, into the trash. Jason would never fucking understand that kid. “What about school?”

“What about it,” Jason muttered, closing the box of donuts up and walking around Tim to sign into one of the registers.

“Did you quit.”

Jason’s shoulders tensed up. Fuck, he’d forgotten how goddamn psychic Tim was. It took him three times to remember his sign on, then he turned around to face Tim. “Well, yeah, since Bruce was paying for it and we broke up I figured it was the classy thing to do. Can you go get me a new roll of receipt tape, this one’s out.”

“It’s not out, it’s broken,” Tim said. “Why did you break up?”

“It’s not broken, you fucks just don’t know how to load it right,” Jason said. “Because that’s what people do. Receipt paper.”

Tim stared at him for a long, uncomfortable moment, then shrugged and walked off in the direction of the office, picking pieces off his donut on the way. .

Thankfully, the morning was busy enough that small talk wasn’t really in the cards. Still, somehow as soon as it was time for Jason to take his lunch, Roy happened to show up at the store at the exact same time. He tried to act like it was  _ totally  _ a coincidence, but Roy’s poker face had never really worked on him. Jason wasn’t stupid. He knew Tim had called Roy or texted him about the whole Bruce thing and he’d chew him out for not staying in his own goddamn lane later, but right now he was actually too happy to see Roy’s dumb face to be mad at anyone.

For lunch, he let Roy take him around to every place in the food court, then buy him an ice cream cone before they climbed on the carousel together. It was just like being fifteen again, only Roy wrote songs about someone else now.

“So, you gonna talk to me or what?” Roy asked, Jason’s arms wrapped around him as they sat atop one of the creepy horses.

“Nothing to talk about,” Jason said, licking ice cream from his wrist where it had dripped. “You always say shit happens. Well. Shit happened. It’s done. I’m over it.”

Roy snorted out a laugh. “You actually believe that bullshit that’s coming out of your mouth right now?”

Jason shrugged. “Why not?”

“Hey, tell me something. Exactly how many xanax did you steal from Steph’s stash before you came in today?”

“None,” Jay told him. It was the truth. Besides, xanax never worked on him anyway. “So can you drop it? I’m fine. What, did you think me and some rich old dude were a forever thing? Did you really think I was going to play blue-haired stepmom for the rest of my life?”

He laughed and his chest ached from the emptiness.

“Jay,” Roy started. “You need to ---”

“I need to go back to work,” Jay said, throwing his leg over and hopping down off the carousel horse. “My lunch is almost over.”

  
  


*   *   *

  
  


The rest of the week Jason worked as much as possible. When Harley told Dick she needed Thursday off, he volunteered to work her shift. When Tim called in on Wednesday because he’d caught the same stomach flu Lian had come down with, Jason told Dick he’d work his shift even though he had just opened that morning. Everyone kept giving him these concerned looks, but Jason mostly just ignored them. They didn’t get it. He liked working, being busy. It kept his mind from thinking about stupid shit like Bruce. Like Harvey. Like the twelve voicemails on his phone from his professors asking why he fucking disappeared out of nowhere. As long as he kept moving everything would be fine. 

He still didn’t really get why everyone was acting like they were waiting for him to fall apart or something. He’d been through break-ups before. This shit just happened. People grow apart. Or someone else grows between them. Either way, it rarely works out. Yeah, maybe he’d convinced himself that Bruce was different, but apparently not. What do they want him to do, lay in bed for weeks crying and eating ice cream by the gallon? That’s not really his thing. Crying over Bruce isn’t going to fucking change anything. The only thing he can do now is go forward. Move on.

Which is really hard to do when every fucking thing reminds Jason of him.

Friday afternoon after his shift, Jason went home and made himself a sandwich, then sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. The first thing that came on was a commercial for the type of cologne Bruce uses. Jason’s breath got caught in his lungs and for a moment he could smell it, like Bruce was right there in the room, right next to him. A thousand memories of pressing his nose into Bruce’s collar when he left for work or got home bombarded him and before he even realized he was crying, a tear fell from Jason’s cheek and splashed onto his jeans.

“Oh fuck this,” he said, slamming the remote down and leaving the sandwich on the table.

He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he couldn’t sit in that empty apartment anymore. He needed to move, needed to  _ do _ something. Pacing outside the apartment on the sidewalk, Jason lit a cigarette and called an Uber. He still didn’t really know where he was going to go, but by the time the driver got there he’d figured it out.

  
  


*   *   *

  
  
  
  


“Hey,” Jason grinned when Roy opened the door, then pushed his way inside. “I’m bored. We should go out. Hey, do you have any more of those pink pills? I don’t know what they were. I just know that they made me seriously --”

“Whoa, haha,” Roy laughed nervously, covering Lian’s ears as she walked up to them. “Maybe like, don’t talk about doing drugs around the child?”

“Sorry,” Jason apologized. “I thought she was with Jade this weekend. Didn’t she like, come back?”

“Yep,” Tim said from the couch. He looked like he was...was he putting together a fucking puzzle?

“She called about an hour ago and said she couldn’t,” Roy said, still covering Lian’s ears with his hands. “Sorry, Jaybird.”

Jason frowned. Well, this fucking sucked. “Can’t you get Donna or somebody to watch her?”

Roy looked at him, but didn’t respond right away, just took his hands off Lian’s ears and got down on her level. “Hey, why don’t you go help Tim with the puzzle? Looks like he’s having some trouble.”

Tim raised his hand and flipped Roy off without taking his focus from the puzzle, then Roy motioned for Jason to follow him into the kitchen.

“I’d love to go and get fucked up with you, man. I would. I seriously miss it. But she’s already gotten dumped by one parent tonight, I don’t wanna add to that, you know?”

Jason’s disappointment was eating him alive, but he understood. It was really sweet, and really, really fucking weird, how almost responsible he and Tim had become.

“You’re welcome to hang out here with us,” Roy teased. “If octopus documentaries and chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs are your idea of fun.”

“Yeah, no,” Jason smiled. “But thanks for the invite. I’ll just go drag Dickie away from his husbands for a while.”

Roy laughed and gave him a long hug, which Jason really needed apparently, because as soon as Roy let go of him Jason wished he hadn’t. “Have fun, babe,” Roy winked and Jason told Tim and Lian goodbye before he left.

  
  


*   *   *

  
  


Three hours later, Jason was downing his sixth shot of the night before dragging Dick back out on the dance floor with him. This.  _ This  _ was what he needed. Christ, he couldn’t remember the last time he just got completely shitfaced and went dancing. It was always hockey games or weird, rich people charity dinners or just being too exhausted from school and everything to even think about going out. But god, he’d missed this. He and Dickie were covered in sweat and glitter that had rained down from the ceiling an hour or so ago and they couldn’t stop  _ dancing. _

Jason had missed this too, just hanging out with Dick. Just the two of them. Neither of them were distracted by boyfriends or stupid adult responsibilities and they could just do whatever they wanted. And all they wanted to do was dance until they dropped.

Jason could tell Dick had missed this too. He’d been grinning all night, kept pulling Jay close and shouting in his ear about how they had to do this more often, how much he loved to dance. Jay soaked it all up. It was better than the booze, better than any drug he could pop.  _ This  _ was what he’d been missing. This was what he needed. Just him, Dickie, and some loud, thumping bass. No expectations. No responsibilities. No rules. Just bodies moving to the beat.

They danced until almost two in the morning, then stumbled out of the club together, laughing and shoving at each other, talking and catching up as they made their way back to Jay’s place. It was closest and Dick was so drunk he couldn’t even remember his own address to give to an Uber driver, so Jason told him he could sleep it off on Steph’s bed since she was on tour with Dinah for the next week or two.

Dick went straight for the bathroom as soon as they got there and Jay threw a couple of blankets out on the couch for him, then headed to his room to change out of his sweaty clothes. He was in the middle of struggling to get out of his jeans without falling over when Dickie walked in on him.

“Oops,” he giggled, covering his eyes with his hand before stumbling forward and falling directly on Jason’s bed.

“Moron,” Jason snorted, giving up and flopping down on the bed next to Dickie, kicking his jeans off the rest of the way and staring up at the ceiling.

“I can’t sleep in Steph’s bed,” Dick said, yawning and squirming next to Jay as he stretched out like a cat. “There’s weird girl stuff everywhere.”

“ _ You’re  _ weird girl stuff,” Jason said, poking him in the ribs, reflexes too slow to react when Dick grabbed his arm and started tickling him. “Oh fuck, stop. You...haha...asshole. Dickie, quit it, you fuck aaaghh ---”

Dick giggled almost as hard as he did as they rolled around on the bed, Jason trying to wiggle himself free from Dick’s grip and Dick fighting just as hard to keep tickling him. He knew all of Jason’s most vulnerable spots and he was exploiting that knowledge to the very best of his ability. It was torture, but it was the first time in weeks --- months, maybe --- that Jason felt like something heavy had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt...lighter. He felt  _ good. _ And for a moment, he stopped fighting against Dick and just breathed.

He stared up at Dick, at his stupid gorgeous face and the scar above his left eyebrow from jumping off the top of the stairs when he was eleven. He was breathing so heavy and smiling like a wild thing and Jason didn’t think there was anything on earth as gorgeous as he was, or as perfect.

“Hey,” Dickie said as he grinned down at him and Jason wanted to kiss him, so he did. Tonight had been amazing. Perfect. It had been everything he’d needed for so long. He missed Dickie and he missed Roy and he missed just losing himself in drugs and music and alcohol and doing whatever the fuck he felt like doing, whenever the fuck he felt like doing it. His fingers slid easily around the back of Dick’s sweat-slick neck and he pushed himself up to meet Dick’s mouth halfway. It was salty from sweat and sweet like the drinks Dick liked and Jason rollled them on the bed so that Dick was beneath him and sucked on his bottom lip, on his tongue, grabbed Dick’s hands and put them on his hips and started to grind down on him.

“Fuck,” he gasped out as Dick’s fingers pressed into his skin. He didn’t know what they were doing, but he didn’t stop to think about it either. It felt good.  _ He _ felt good.

“Jay,” Dick murmured against his jaw and Jason kissed him again, and again, then reached between them, grabbing for the zipper on Dick’s jeans.

“Fuck me,” Jay growled next to his ear as he opened up Dickie’s jeans. “I want you in me. Want to feel you, Dickie, c’mon. Come  _ on. _ ”

“Jay,” Dick said, reaching down and lacing his fingers around Jason’s wrist. “Shit, Jay. We can’t, we can’t --”

Jason sat back on his knees and stared down at Dick. He felt like he’d been kicked in the gut. “No, you mean  _ you  _ can’t. Me and Bruce are done, so what you really mean is you don’t want to.”

Dick gave him a look of equal parts confusion and pity. “I mean. Jay. I. What about M and Apollo?”

Jason felt the blood in his veins go cold. “Yeah? What about them?”

Dick huffed and managed to pull himself up against the headboard. “I can’t just --  _ Jay.  _ You know you’re my best friend. You’re my favorite person in the world. But...I love them. I can’t do that to them.”

“You love them,” Jason heard himself repeat coldly. “I was in love with you for years and you wouldn’t see it. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want  _ me _ . You said it was because you weren’t into dudes. Remember, Dickie? Remember that’s what you  _ said. _ ”

“Jay ---”

“Do you have any idea what that feels like?” Jason continued. “You didn’t want me, but some ripped asshole comes along and suddenly you’re a slut for it? Then, oh, it wasn’t just a fluke. It wasn’t just you figuring out your sexuality or something. Then you go and get  _ two  _ boyfriends.”

Jason stood up and snatched his jeans up off the floor, laughing bitterly as he stepped into them. “Was I just not up to your standards, Dickie? Was I not fucking good enough?”

“Jay,” Dick pleaded.

“Was that it?” Jason demanded, pulling his shirt over his head. “Was I just not good enough for the great and perfect Dick Grayson?”

“Jay, no ---”

“Well, what was it!” Jason shouted. “What was it? What was wrong with me, Dickie? Why didn’t you want me? What’s wrong with me?  _ What’s wrong with me?” _

Jason didn’t realize he was shaking until Dick got up and wrapped his arms around him. He tried to fight it. He didn’t want Dick touching him right now. He didn’t deserve it. Still, his body shook with the sobs that were being torn out of him. He couldn’t hold it back any longer. The dam had been broken and everything Jason had been holding in since he walked away from Bruce a week ago was finally coming to light. He cried and he cried as Dick held him, until his sobs turned into deep, ragged gasps for breath. He’d held too much back for too long and his body couldn’t handle it. Dick grabbed his face between his hands and spoke to him, but Jason couldn’t hear him over the blood rushing in his head. He couldn’t make out the words Dick was saying because he couldn’t concentrate on anything except the hurt he felt, so deep and aching it felt like it was carved into his bones.

“Jason, please,” he finally heard Dick’s voice, muffled and far away sounding, and looked up to see his eyes wet with tears. “I don’t know what to do. You need to breathe, okay? You’re scaring me.”

Jay wasn’t sure if he could do that or not, but he couldn’t stand to see Dick so upset, so he gave a slight nod and tried to take a slow, steady breath. His body fought it the whole way, but he tried again. He tried, for Dickie if nothing else.

“I’m so sorry,” Dick said, touching his face, his hair, then pulling him into a gentle hug when Jason’s breathing finally began to even out, resting his chin atop Jason’s head. “I love you. I love you so much. There’s nothing wrong with you. I’m so sorry if I made you think that, if anyone has ever made you think that. Because it’s not true. It’s just  _ not. _ You’re. Jay, you’re everything. Okay?”

“Dickie,” Jason struggled to say. “Please stop. You’re starting to sound like a John Hughes movie.”

Dick laughed and held him tighter. And kept holding him. Jason lost track of how long they sat there on the edge of his bed, his cheek on Dick’s shoulder and Dick’s arms wrapped around him like he could protect him from anything that tried to hurt him.

“I thought he was forever, Dickie,” Jason said quietly, his voice raspy from all the crying. Dick reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “Why? Why did I let myself think that?”

“Because,” Dick said softly. “You loved him. He loved you too.”

And that was probably the hardest thing Jason had heard all night. It wasn’t that Dick hadn’t wanted him. It wasn’t having to hear how much Dick loved M and Apollo and how he didn’t want to hurt either of them. The hardest thing of all was hearing outloud what he had known all along. That he had loved Bruce and Bruce had loved him, and it still wasn’t enough.

Because what do you do then? What do you do when love isn’t enough?

What  _ then? _

**Author's Note:**

> *** tag clarification: It's actually only #almost infidelity and #almost drunk sex, but I wanted to warn just in case those things are sensitive subjects/triggers to anyone. 
> 
> I lied. One more part after this.


End file.
